Living with Autism

Well we had the fund raiser for Stable Spirits today. Slade loved being around all the horses but got a bit overstimulated after a few hours. We ended up having to leave about 1:30. There seemed to be an ok amount of people there, tho I really hoped there would be more. Hopefully alot more showed up  after we left.

On another note, we listed the house for sale yesterday. I sure hope that it sells soon. We really need more space! On top of that we have to find land in Lumberton that we can afford! It's all so expensive... Once the house sales we can start building. Which will take a few months. Gonna be stressful for a while, but it will be so worth it when we have more space. I think that will be so good for Slade!

Love & Prayers,
Angela

Got news yesterday that funding for Slade's EAP therapy is about to run out. I will have to look my handsome little cowboy in the eyes & tell him he can no longer see his new best friend "Pumpkin",,, unless somehow we find some funding. I don't know if it's the City of Beaumont, or who it is so i'm trying not to point fingers.. But I'm angry about why we need to build big athletic complexes & name them after some Superintendent that already makes way too much money, when instead that money can go towards helping these special kids! I am sad & angry, and should probably leave it at that for now..

Need to hug on my baby boy for a bit & hope this all works out..

Praying for God's mercy on my little man,

Angela

Today didn't start out that great, but by God's grace it got better. We had Slade's first Equine Assisted Psychotherapy (EAP) Session today. Sporting his new Cowboy hat, he looked cute as can be! Last night when he was trying to go to bed I noticed some new regressions.. He was sucking on his covers & stuffed animals again, like he did a few years back. It just made me so sad. So I was really worried about how he was going to do today aroung all those BIG horses. To my amazement he walked right into the arena with his therapy team. There were 4 horses in there & he got to choose which one he wanted to bridle up & walk around. He looked at all of them, up and down.. He was very choosy, but never scared! Finally he decided on Pumpkin. He seemed like a pro getting her ready for her walk around the arena. And she was so good with him. She was never spooked by him. It brought tears to my eyes to see him look at me with the biggest smile while working with the horse. Pumpkin was abused when she was young, & was recently rescued. She was beaten with white pipe regularly. The stable team was amazed when Slade walked up to her with a white pipe, crawled under her with it, and banged it in the dirt twice, and all she did was look under at him then look back up!! She NEVER moved or seemed upset. They could not believe the amount of trust that the horses had for Slade, and that Slade had for the horses. I was in disbelief. All 4 horses followed him around the entire arena, everywhere he went. He stopped for a while, zoned out into playing in the sand. I was concerned, but was told that even Sand Therapy is good for kids! The horses never left his side even while playing in the sand. It was awesome. He was the happiest I have ever seen him.

He did so well that they asked him to be in the Equine Special Olympics that are coming up this summer. It will be for 3 days in Houston. Everyone wins, it's just a chance for them to get to show off. He will be so proud if everyone can come watch him! They will start teaching him to ride soon!! He is so excited. He said, "Mom I get to do the Special Olllyymmpiccs (lol) cuz i'm the most Specialist horse walker in real life"! I saw his self esteem just soar today. I was so amazed & speechless. He was so proud of how he brushed the horses & brought them for a drink of water. This will become a weekly thing for a while, and on top of that he will start training for the Special Olympics soon. We will be having fundraisers that will help pay the way for these "special" angels, because as I know personally, most of these families already are struggling financially since insurance coverage is so limited. I will keep everyone up tp date, and hopefully you can help spread the word about the fundraisers.. 

Long but wonderful day. I am thanking Christ for this wonderful opportunity he sent to my Slade... God is so good  :-)

Will write more soon. Right now time for bed..
Love & Prayers,
Angela

Well a pretty uneventful weekend.. My kids were at their dad's but come home in less than 2 hours.. I can't wait. I hate it when their gone. Rissa played her last Little Dribblers Basketball games yesterday. I am very proud of her. She did great.

I took off work tomorrow to stay home with Slade. He has to have some dental work, which means that he has to be sedated, with valium & nitrous. It works great for about the first 20 minutes, then he becomes very aggitated  & almost impossible to work with. I never could figure out why until the nurse for his MRI said that sedatives work different in people with Autism, & alot of times cause them to be aggitated. It all made sense then! It is so stressful when he has to have dental work. We've been thru all of this about 4 times before, but he grits his teeth when he gets stressed & has undone all of the work we had done. He cries & fights against us so hard when the dentist is working. I end up crying too. It's just so stressful & sad.. Praying the sedation works this time.
Angela

We had Slade's ARD meeting today. ARD meetings are when the parent(s) get together with the teachers, therapists, Spec Ed Diagnostian, etc, & meet on the child's IEP, which is an Individual Education Plan. When a child is in Spec Ed they don't have to get certain grades in order to pass or graduate. They only have to meet certain goals that the ARD team sets. Once those goals are achieved, we meet & set new ones. In this case we had to meet to actually change his placment, from Gen Ed to Spec Ed for his core subjects.

It was an ok meeting considering the circumstances. I got to hear some positive things about Slade's progress that I hadn't heard before, which was wonderful. BUT it always seems that the negative things outweigh the positives. As usual I cried because it is all so hard to hear. I always leave those meetings feeling so beat up & mentally & emotionally exhausted. They go around the table telling you things about your child that are so hard to hear. It feels like an attack, & as a parent your first instinct is to go into defense mode. But then you remember that you are the parent of a Special Needs child, & you have to swallow your pride & realize that what they are saying is true. It is absolutly heart wrenching to sit there for that hour. I want so much for him to excel so much that he no longer needs Spec Ed help, but sometimes I feel like I am having to sit there & watch "Mainstreaming" slipping further & further away. I am just so sad.

Very discouraged & disheartened today. Exhausted. A special thanks tho to my husband for being there with me & for me today for the meeting. It is so nice to not have to face that alone anymore.

Finally started the blog that I was supposed to start a few years ago! We will try to update it often.

Email I sent out earlier today:

I know that I promised updates on Slade. Sorry that it took me so long. I am considering starting a little blog for him (in my spare time) that way I can update it a couple of days a week, on progress, regressions, appointments, new prayer needs, etc... I will let you all know when I do. I just have to find a site that does it. Thank you all for your continued prayers.   The MRI came back the same as the one done at Texas Children's when he was 2. There were no tumors or lesions, Praise God.  He has regressed so far back that he is even having problems with wetting on himself. It is so sad. Socially he is still somewhat ok. He still plays well with his friends, he just doesn't like for it to get loud or rowdy. At school we meet tomorrow to officially pull him out of his half a day Gen Ed & put him back in Special Ed full time. He is crying nonstop at school & getting frustrated so easily. He is very insecure & will hardly let me out of his sight. We have lost about 2 years of progress. His Specialist changed his medicines a bit to try to help, then on Monday he had a reaction to the new med dose & we had to take him off, so he is back on the old meds now.   We started seeing a Christian counselor yesterday, on top of all the other doctors I take him too. I am very optimistic about this tho, because he is a family friend so Slade is comfortable with him & will actually talk to him. We are trying to help him find other ways to deal with the frustration & insecurities.. I think this will help. I also found a stable that does therapy with horses for children with special needs. I called them & it would cost about $300 a session, but once I told them some things about Slade they offered me a grant for him which will cover all of their services! I am so excited about that. His new counselor can also go with him & do his therapy there too, with the horses. For the time being he will see the therapist weekly.   Donald & I hired a lawyer to file a medical malpractice suit against my obgyn for some things that he did during delivery that caused Slade's brain damage. The lawyers seem to think we have a good case. If we receive a settlement, it will go into a trust fund for Slade. The court will issue us a monthly allowance, that will hopfully allow me to either quit my job or work part time that way I can spend my days taking Slade from place to place so that he can get the best help possible. It is so hard right now missing so much work, & still paying for all the appointments, medicine, etc. BUT it is so worth it. He is such a wonderful little boy. I am praying tho that God sends something my way that will allow me financially to be able to spend more time at home taking care of him.   In the car the other day I told him about the new counselor & he said, "Will he fix me mommy?" Of course I burst into tears & told him that he wasn't broken & that I love him just the way he is. I told him the new doc is going to help him feel better, and he liked that answer.   Thanks again for all the prayers. Please continue to pray for God's mercy on my little angel.   Angela